JollyPieFedMAGA pastor claims Kamala Harris deployed "witchcraft" in Trump debate
www.newsweek.com/maga-pastor-claims-kamala-harr…
cross-posted from: lemmy.world/post/19705095
32 Comments
Comments from other communities
BertramDitoreThis would be genuinely hilarious if it wasn’t so goddamn serious for so many indoctrinated folks.
So let me get this straight: she’s black, she’s south Asian, she’s a woman, she’s married to a Jew, and she’s a witch? I think I like her even more now…
I hope she leans into it for halloween.
lemmyngShe should have Bambi Thug as a guest on her next rally.
I’m pretty sure the world has essentially (mercifully) forgotten about her
Match!!
The Pantser
To be fair, any technology you don’t understand can be mistaken for magic. In this case that technology is coherence.
SassyRamenGod damn, I should have worn sun screen, I didn’t expect that hot of a burn!
The full quote is
Any SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED technology can not be distinguished from magic.
Personally, I prefer to say technology that can be distinguished from magic is not sufficiently advanced.
“She knew she could speak 20 lies about Trump and not be contradicted. That was the arrangement,” he wrote in a second post. “And that’s why I call it witchcraft, because it has the effect of planting and reinforcing thoughts in the mind of the listener that defiles perspective. This makes it easier to manipulate people.”
He’s describing Trump and his cult. It really is projection lol.
WHICH IS TOTALLY LEGAL BY THE WAY
Pastor defends his antichrist.
RiskableIf Trump’s really the Messiah as this moron believes, shouldn’t he be immune to Devil Magic?
t_beriumDeleted by moderator
That wasn’t witchcraft! What she did was Headology, plain and simple. Far more efficient. All you have to do is make the recipient understand that the lies they tell themselves in the dark corners of their mind are flimsy untruths that everyone can see through.
dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️It’s only a shame she didn’t make him think he was a frog.
But then, Trump is really already kind of a toad.
Is Headology a generic witchy thing, or specifically a Discworld thing?
I originally wasn’t going to vote for Kamala since she was a cop, but now that I know she’s a witch I’ve changed my mind.
DiplomjodlerSo who were you going to vote for?
Tax the churches! They are political Propaganda arms of the Republican party.
ZloubidaTax the churches indeed.
But a lot of churches aren’t the political propaganda arms of the GOP, you just don’t hear about 'em.
So, Trump is “God’s Chosen” and has divine backing. But despite God being on his side, a little witchcraft can completely overpower him. I would have thought God’s power would be stronger than whatever dark sorcery the Demoncraft party could invoke, but apparently I was wrong.
Yeah, it must be that. It can’t be that their orange messiah is just an elderly narcissist with no discipline or self-awareness, a rambling imbecile who can be easily manipulated by anyone that threatens his fragile ego. That would be crazy.
Obviously it must be God’s will that Trump become President again, why else would He have told a small minority of believers to follow some rich asshole who embodies all of their most extreme political views? I mean, if he wasn’t specifically chosen by God, he wouldn’t have a divine mandate that negates the need to be moral or abide by any of that “love your neighbor” shit, and his deeply religious followers would have to choose between their faith and owning the libs.
Since they don’t feel bad about their politics overriding the teachings of Jesus, it must be OK, which means it has God’s blessing. Therefore, God is on their side and endorses their political views, and their preferred presidential candidate. Which also means that the other side must be working for the devil.
What happened to their defensive prayers?
Sadly they may have made things worse.
The problem is, when you open yourself up to spiritual forces anything can come through that door… Including your own paranoia… Which is more often attacking you more than demons are.
There was actually this cult, it’s still around today, but is so small time it’s virtually extinct, called Christian Science. It was not a league of Scientists who were Christians, it wasn’t Science at all, it wasn’t even Christian as it had more to do with shit on the level of Chris-Chan’s Dimensional Merge than anything in the bible.
(Science was a newish term at the time, before they used to call what we call Science “Natural Philosophy”, so calling their Group Christian Science was basically the olde timey version of when your Crazy Hippie Aunt watches New Age “Quantum Enlightenment” nonsense on Gaia)
At one point because the Church was grilling them about being called Christian but having nothing to do with the faith, the leader claimed she was the second coming of Jesus and that the powers Christian Science (doesn’t really at all) gives you are the same ones Jesus had.
Later in life when her health started to fail, she stayed in a compound and got progressively worse… Because the fear that her “enemies” were “attacking her with Animal Magnetism!” was making her so paranoid that it was destroying her health.
She had live in members of her cult in constant meditation to shun away the sickness.
It got to the point where she’d claim her food was poisoned by “Evil Vibes”, resulting in the Chefs having to cook two versions of the same meal in order to get her to eat. One that looked “eh”, for her to say it was poisoned, and another that looked fresher to be “After the food was cleansed with psychic powers”, if they didn’t do this little LARP session of “psychically cleansing the food” and have the right props, she would not eat.
Basically claiming a defensive stance when there’s no real threat is a bad idea in certain cases, because the result is you getting so prepared for an attack that you’re tense and believe the attacker is everywhere.
But not being defensive at all leaves you open.
Balance in all things.
Before I go, my favorite funfact about Christian Science is the founder of it was a woman who practiced Homeopathy and Phrenology to understand her own illnesses (Likely just hypochondria if history is to be believed), which at the time were considered legitimate forms of medical practice…
But that’s not the funfact
And neither is the fact that Homeopathy was highly praised at the time because REAL Medicine was so poor it actually caused more problems than it solved. So because people didn’t know any better, it was believed Homeopathy was “The biggest game in town”, even though today we realize Homeopathy literally doesn’t do anything at all. (Yes, No Medicine was better than Any Medicine at one opint)
What IS the funfact, is after various alleged religious visions, Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of Christian Science, while treating a patient of hers withheld Homeopathic Medicine in place of sugar pills… and her patient got better anyway.
Instead of coming to the conclusion that Homeopathy is an absolute sham, she believed she had successfully and secretly taught a man to cure himself with magical science…
She was so close to a groundbreaking discovery, just not the one she walked away with. It’d be hilarious if Christian Science wasn’t responsible for murdering so many children through intentional neglect.
Deleted by moderator
She did, she had a history of lying and hypochondria, and gaslighting herself into believing her own lies because of the hypochondria.
She started suspecting she had powers after she believed she had cured her own paralysis…
The doctor who treated her would review his case files for biographers, and revealed he never believed her to be in critical injury nor even implied that she had any kind of paralysis. What really happened is her own hysteria caused her to blatantly misinterpret everything he said in the worst way possible.
The only reason she had as many followers as she did was because her system actually was helpful. Not because she had powers or anything, but at the time hers was one of the only movements that barred people from smoking, something that people believed was not only harmless, but healthy for you. So people actually were seeing notable improvements in their health and longevity… because they stopped smoking, not because they had magic powers.
There was also the not allowing people to go to the doctor at a time where the doctor was more likely to kill you than your disease.
As Medical Science got better, Christian Science became less helpful and more detrimental.
People really were seeing miracles, Mark Twain even directly stated that Christian Science would one day be bigger than the Roman Empire because of what it was doing for people…
But no one realized it was from abstaining from tobacco
Obviously, her witch magic was more powerful. She gets a lot of mana from eating all those cats and dogs.
I’m glad you left out, “thoughts” because we all know that was never a factor in this.
Slightly more plausible than Bluetooth eatings where she had a full team of writers instantly coming up with her responses, all agreeing on it, and relating it to her with zero delay…
Snot FlickermanThe bluetooth one is crazy because have you ever tried to talk while you have a voice rambling in your ear?
It’s not easy to focus.
Eh, a lot of scam preachers have infamously done just that. What makes it unrealistic is the practical range for Bluetooth. And even if they figured that out, since they were not inside her ears canals they’d be effectively speakers which the mic would catch.
TransplantedSconie
defunct_punkDeleted by moderator
This is supposed to be a presidential debate, not a president and team debate.
Also at the end of the day it’s the president that makes the decisions, not the team. You’re supposed to evaluate them, in part, on their decision making capability.
I’d support it for fact checking alone. Give them a researcher in their ear who can search the internet for reliable references. It would discourage bullshitting on both sides, and someone like Trump would be instantly shut down.
Instead of an invisible fact-checking team, give them each a laptop (or phone) so they can do their own fact checks, and make the screens visible so we can see what sources they use.
I want to hear the candidates positions, not the positions his team thinks I want to hear.
Man, if this had been the case I could have seen Biden doing much better in that first debate.
As improbable as the latter sounds, the former (supernatural powers) I consider to be impossible. And when you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
.. which in this case is just that Harris is competent and the other guy is not. No supernatural witchcraft or impossible earbuds required.
where can I get my pointy hat that says “witches for Kamala”
So she is a witch with no backup real except a few leftist woke idiots?
Trump on the other hand is chosen by god and has the whole country behind him…
And he says this one witch is stronger than god and all his followers? Alright, who is he rooting for? I don’t get this. They never think about the implications of what they say, do they?
“She knew she could speak 20 lies about Trump and not be contradicted. That was the arrangement,” he wrote in a second post. “And that’s why I call it witchcraft, because it has the effect of planting and reinforcing thoughts in the mind of the listener that defiles perspective. This makes it easier to manipulate people.”
Holy projection, Batman
Colonel Panic
MattDid she turn you into a newt?
Yeah that’s what they say about women with knowledge.
Regrettable_incidentI’d vote for a witch.
Christine O’Donnell has entered the chat.
Imagine considering not voting for a witch who could literally fix the country with magic lol
🏝Skoob🏝Dude says its occult witchcraft and then goes on to define collusion and conspiracy. Like, that didn’t happen either but those are what he’s describing.
Also, just throwing it out there, if the pastor ever made a birthday wish before blowing out candles then that would be witchcraft. Spells are basically intentions combined with ritualistic actions in the hope of a stated outcome.
So yeah, Harris didn’t commit witchcraft at the debate but every American does on their birthday. Fun fact 😛
SuiXi3Dbut every American does on their birthda
Not this one! But does looking up appropriate Latin phrases for my sorcerer’s spells when playing D&D count?
AnitaAmandaHuginskisWhat? Trump is so weak his plans can be foiled by simple witchcraft? I thought Trump big, the best stronk? /s
Face it, dude. Trump is an easily manipulated idiot. Harris demonstrated it live on TV.
Why wouldn’t you deploy your own warlock instead of complaining?
This is clearly voodoo witchcraft, and MAGA doesn’t have a lot of black women - they’re all too… uppity. Klandace Owens is too busy playing Goebbels to make the pivot to office, so this is all so unfair!
…God emperor Trump - the world’s greatest negotiator who will end the Ukraine and Palestine conflicts before taking office can’t possibly be expected to debate a black woman - she’s far too powerful.
Deleted by moderator
Hear me out now, what if she did?
What if Kamala’s witchcraft is just being a good person?
Like, that’s some amazing witchcraft.
MisterFrogWhat fucking year is it in these people’s minds? 1600?
Sadly no, there are people and even whole communities in 2024 that kill people (usually) women accused of witchcraft. On multiple fucking continents.
“And that’s why I call it witchcraft, because it has the effect of planting and reinforcing thoughts in the mind of the listener that defiles perspective. This makes it easier to manipulate people.”
Huh …
Remember when they AId Harris as a demon and she the result looked hot as fuck
This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥I can confirm. Precisely a week before the debate, I got a lock of Trump’s hair in the mail and a letter from Kamala that said “you know what to do”
You’re all welcome
So we have a choice between a president with magic powers or a president who gibbers nonsense while wearing a diaper filled with yellow hamburder shit. Not a hard decision to make, really.
“MAGA Pastor” is an unholy sounding combination.
SkvlpDamn, I can’t wait for her to shut down autocrats and strongmen with “occult-empowered deception”.
They are really running out of real arguments.
On the other hand, this is one of the more creative explanation of Trumps utter f-up. What’s next? Were the aliens providing Trump with mental energy having reactor trouble in their UFOs?
x00zaThose fingers in my hair
That sly come hither stare
That strips my conscience bare
It’s witchcraft
Hegar
AtomicHotSauceOkay, so she’s a witch, but she isn't a hag, so we’re good.
insert Geralt of Rivia grunt
Hey, Geralt could tolerate witches. Even had his way with a few. Not so much hags.
Deleted by moderator
She was always of Indian heritage, and she was only promoting Indian heritage. I didn’t know she used Black magic until a number of years ago, when she happened to turn Black, and now she wants to be known as a Black magician.
modifierHonestly, as a cope, I find this infinitely INFINITELY more satisfying than the “3 on 1 debate” weak sauce.
ZombiepirateIt’s true, I saw her give him the evil eye during the debate. Now he’s cursed with ineloquence until he makes a pilgrimage to his fatherland and burns a wreath of holly under the full moon.
rustydomino“She’s a witch!”
“Yeah, but she’s OUR witch.”
~Capt. Malcolm Reynolds
jordanlund
That’s funny because a few times I spied her hands, held out in front of her, fingers outstretched, looking like she was casting a spell! Lol. Nevertheless, they were all thoughts for funsies only.
WeirdGoesProUsually is accuse them of being dumb as fuck but these dolts are obviously much dumber than fuck. Poor fuck, I didn’t mean anything by it😘
Information for Newsweek: https://www.newsweek.com/maga-pastor-claims-kamala-harris-deployed-witchcraft-trump-debate-1952902
Newsweek - News Source Context (Click to view Full Report)
> MBFC: Right-Center - Credibility: High - Factual Reporting: Mostly Factual - United States of America
> Wikipedia about this source
Search topics on Ground.News
Why does the right always make up things that make her sound cooler than she is?
Hulk Hogan said she was a chameleon.
So that’s a pretty cool super power for dealing with foreign powers.
I was about to say, I would dare argue that her being able to manipulate and control others would make her an amazing president, able to deal with dangerous threats with witchy powers.
She turned me into a newt!
A newt?!
I got better.
…I got better.
He’s much better now.
I wish. That’d be sick
I don’t know what’s more embarrassing, the straws they are grasping at, or the fact they still believe in witchcraft.
Have the balls to yank the tax exempt status of that church.
Sooo… all powerful orange Jesus was defeated by simple witchcraft then? Hahahaha!
She beat him with that black magic
I once tried to say “Black don’t crack” about a co-worker of mine, but what came out was “Black Girl Magic” ( no I have no idea why), and the guys at work have been saying it randomly to me and each other since then. Now I’m thinking my brain was trying to explain that the dude’s seeming agelessness was black magic and got confused. I know this was rambly. I’m gonna do a sleep about it.
*Christian stochastic terrorist claims Kamala Harris deployed "witchcraft" in Trump debate.
Hopefully the IRS gets ahold of the news.
“Under the Internal Revenue Code, all section 501©(3) organizations are absolutely prohibited from directly or indirectly participating in, or intervening in, any political campaign on behalf of (or in opposition to) any candidate for elective public office. Contributions to political campaign funds or public statements of position (verbal or written) made on behalf of the organization in favor of or in opposition to any candidate for public office clearly violate the prohibition against political campaign activity. Violating this prohibition may result in denial or revocation of tax-exempt status and the imposition of certain excise taxes.”
irs.gov/…/restriction-of-political-campaign-inter…
Unfortunately, churches have pretty much had free reign to say whatever they want and keep their tax exempt status since Bush.
They are going after billionaires and big corporations now that they received more funding. Maybe after they collect the large backwards owed, they will go after those violating 501 c3 status.
Guessing it’s time for the duck and large scales.
Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
'bout fucking time. Use that witchcraft, you badass, you!
Who knew she do the voodoo she do so well? I hope to hell that she leans into this and uses it in her campaign. Maybe dress up as a witch for Halloween and go trick or treating with her cat? Or the next time she has an interview, at some point she can counter a republican comment of some kind, then face the camera and go “boo” or wriggle her nose (ala Bewitched) and smirk.
How many centuries will they further try going back with their misogynistic rhetoric? I guess she’s also not allowed to eat apples anymore.
OMFG, why give this mental deficient an iota of attention?
I gotta admit, I was just enjoying the novelty of being able to crosspost between !politics and !witchymemes with content actually relevant to both.
You’re right, that is something to enjoy. Kudos.
She should start playing Witchy Woman by the Eagles at her rallies to troll the maga cultists. It will eventually get picked up and reported by all the hard right media outlets, and then they will lose their minds even more than they already have.
Oh, a woman of color that’s good with words couldn’t possibly be explained any other way?
Tell me you’re racist/sexist without telling me.
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”
She turned me into a newt!
It is somewhat reassuring that no matter the political system, people everywhere are lead by superstitious charlatans